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2017 Sex Shark Week

How To Have Mind Blowing Sex

One thing that I always get asked on the street is, “Hey Mx. Soror 64, how can I make whoopy more efficiently? Can I haz answer plz?”

I usually just shrug and then distract them with a meme but I think it’s finally time to answer the question.

Let’s break it into four parts:

Communication

You have to be able to speak your needs. No matter what. If you want to wear a gag or get spanked during sexy times, then you need to make that known. It doesn’t matter what you think your partner might think. You are responsible for getting your needs met, and you alone.

If your partner thinks lesser of you and wants to break up with you. Let them. You don’t need to be in a toxic relationship. You want to be happy and healthy with a partner who also wants you to be the same.

Spice

It has been said that “He who controls the Spice controls the Universe.” (Frank Herbert Dune.)

Spicing up your bedroom life can give a much needed break in the monotony. It can help you bond closer over shared experiences. Increasing intimacy or adding a creative flair can alleviate some of the psychological factors that lead to a low libido.

Remember that the Universe card in the tarot represents Babalon, who is also symbolized by a cup needing to be filled. It doesn’t have to be anything extremely kinky, but there are many ways to be more creative in bed.

Consent

You always have to make sure you’ve received consent. This harkens back to the communication factor. If both people are in agreement that sex should take place, then go for it. It should also be discussed what kind of things are going to happen during sex. You should always take care to have a safeword.

Too many times I have I heard stories of someone saying “ow” during sex and the other partner stopped because they thought something was wrong. This can dampen the experience and cause conflict. Evenif you are engaging in mostly vanilla, sex I feel like you should have a word that will stop the activity that isn’t “ow.”

There are also styles of kink that involve consensual nonconsent, but we will be discussing that later in an article on Safety Philosophies in Kink

Attraction

This does not have to be positive attraction. I recognize the need for a good angry hate fuck once in awhile.

However, I would normally say that you should make sure you even like the person. You can’t force yourself to like someone, and you shouldn’t make excuses or justify liking them to convince yourself to have sex with them. You will be filled with doubt during the sex act and regret after the sex act.

You might also due well to be honest with yourself. Maybe you are asexual and aromantic and you simply just don’t feel sexual attraction. I would not try to force it.

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