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Culture Thelema

Easter is a Shit Holiday


Christians tell me happy Easter. Pagans tell me happy Ostara.


Just stop.

I don’t celebrate either. I’m a Thelemite. I celebrate these holidays.

I should just smile and say, “happy Easter” back, but I can’t. I would feel inauthentic if I gave the illusion that I had any inclination to give two shits about their holiday or their old aeon traditions of having a saviour.

How can I not like fertility holidays? Is it because I’m asexual? Maybe I’m just really into eugenics or genocide or something? Nope. Wrong. The way I understand The Book of The Law is that every day should be a feast unto Nuit if you take II:43 literally. The way I see it, I am having a fertility holiday every night.

Maybe I should just eat chocolate bunnies every night.

Honestly, I’m probably just repressed because I never got much chocolate growing up and now I’m taking out my frustration on the world like a mature, responsible adult.

Also, I’d like to take this time to share a childhood story. When I was a teenager, “Passion of the Christ” came out and my church rented out the theater for Sunday for a few showings and sold tickets to our congregation so we could all go see it together. My mother and stepdad ended up making me go.

I sat dead center up front, and laughed my ass off the entire time. It’s just straight up torture porn. I love movies like that. Stuff like Splatter: Naked Blood and Guinea Pig 2: Flower of Flesh and Blood are some of my favourite movies. Hell, I have Japanese movies from the pornography section that are just 30 minutes of people committing seppeku and bleeding out. Watching Jesus get beat up is OK, but if I want to watch Japanese snuff films I’m a sinner. Gosh! Parents just never understand.

And finally, I mentioned this earlier on facebook, but when you go to church on Easter and take communion you are partaking in an old tradition known as “god-eating” that many esoteric religions do. But for some reason all these Christians look down on Pagan tradition when so much of their own rites stem from Paganism. They should really do some research on what happened when the Catholics absorbed all the pagans into their religion.

Please don’t misunderstand. I don’t hate Christians. I hate that they don’t understand their own religion and choose to look down on others. I know that’s a super posh and edgy thing to say. That’s the meme floating around, “But did u no that Easter haz Pagan origins!?” Yes, yes, we know. We all know. The Christians still don’t. And if they do, they don’t care. They still look down on us, and have special sunday morning services on how to combat us. I also don’t hate Ostara or hate Pagans.

I just really don’t like people saying “Happy Easter” to me because people wishing me a happy holiday that I don’t celebrate comes with a lot of trauma. Mostly due to the passive aggressive nature of it. Same thing when someone comes up and says, “I put you on my sunday school prayer list” or “I’m praying for you” out of the blue. I don’t want any part of it Leave me the hell alone.

Go eat your man meat and Saviour blood while I stuff my face with chocolate and pray for annihilation in the name of Nuit. Ok? Ok.

Happy Easter.




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